When you stop and think about it, your past is really a story you told yourself about events that happened earlier in your life. Maybe those stories are real and accurate. Chances are they bare no resemblance to the facts of any of those events.

People who hold on to their past often feed their unhappy stories-where they felt victimized. They go over and over the events that, according to them, led to their being hurt by other people and circumstances they deemed to be of their control.

Such people invest so much (sometimes all) of themselves in their hurts so they can blame others rather than assume responsibility for how their world looks now. Those people prefer re-living their past to changing their lives to create a happier future.

If you can maintain a neutral position when they tell their stories you will not get drawn in. The bottom line here is that your empathy and sympathy only serve to feed their stories and keep them stuck in their pain. When you allow them to re-tell their same old hurts you enable them to wallow and envelop themselves in untruths. In fact you give them permission to reject taking any responsibility at all for anything in their world.

A friend would not enable a friend to remain in pain. If you know someone who tells you about their pain, how horribly others treated them, the best gift you can share with them is to stop them. The next time they try to re-tell their story tell them you heard it before and you will not listen again.

Of course they will then create a story about you and how you hurt them-unless you let them know you love them too much to watch them drown in their non-serving stories. You may even ask them if they really want to change-or if they really want to continue to re-live their hurts.

Friend keep themselves and their friends living in the present. In this moment you are free from pain. If something hurts then you act to stop it-you do not simply sit back and hurt. You take action-in this moment.

You can only hurt by looking to the past or fearing the future. To live in happiness stay present-right here, right now.

If so, download my brand new free Special Report: 45 Tips To Live In Happiness Now here:http://liveinhappinessnow.com/ebook.html

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Ali_Bierman

By Ali Bierman

When you make an excuse, you are usually allowing fear to dictate your choices. I am not saying you should do things that you don’t want to do. What I am saying is not to let your fear of something prevent you from doing something else you would really enjoy. For instance, when we fear things such as crowds, flying, or public speaking, we make excuses as to why we can’t attend an event, go on a trip, or take that new job. By not conquering these fears, we deprive ourselves of many great experiences. We begin making excuses and soon, we don’t even realize we’re doing it.

Excuses can make becoming a positive thinker very difficult. If you are someone who is accustomed to making excuses, then you will have a hard time becoming a positive thinker unless you stop making excuses.

Excuses can make you believe you are doing something positive when you are not. An excuse is just a negative thought in disguise. If your excuses are preventing you from living the life you truly desire, how can this be positive?

How many of these excuses have you used?

o I don’t have enough time
o I’m too old
o It would take too long
o I’m too young
o I’m too fat
o I don’t like crowds
o I’m afraid to fly
o I don’t look good in a bathing suit
o I don’t have enough money
o I don’t have anything to wear
o I don’t want to get hurt
o I don’t have the right connections
o Blah, blah, blah

The list goes on. Don’t wait for some specific thing to happen before you begin living your life. I remember once telling my Mother that I didn’t like to go swimming anymore because I didn’t like the way I looked in my bathing suit. “Don’t be silly,” she replied. “Life is too short to let it pass you by. Now go and put on your bathing suit and get outside and enjoy the pool.” That was great advice. So make the time, put on that bathing suit, and take that vacation. Life isn’t a dress rehearsal.

Conquer your fears! Phil Keoghan, host of The Amazing Race, has an excellent and very inspiring book titled NOW – No Opportunity Wasted. It begins when Phil is 19 years old and narrowly escapes the jaws of death while diving inside a sunken shipwreck. After being given a second chance at life, Phil was committed to living every day to the fullest and never letting an opportunity pass him by.

The book is co-authored by wordsmith Warren Berger, who tells Phil’s story in a relatable and entertaining manner. An entire chapter is devoted to getting rid of excuses and another to facing your fears. I highly recommend this empowering book.

What about the excuses you give others? If you have fallen into this pattern, then stop. Assume responsibility and just tell the truth.

In order to get what you want out of life you have to get rid of the excuses. Think about why you are making a particular excuse. What do you fear and what benefit does this excuse have?

Benjamin Franklin said, “He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else.” Since we improve at whatever we practice, this makes sense.

You can be good at making excuses or good at something more rewarding. The choice is yours.

Debra Wier – The Metamorphosis Cafe – Becoming The Best You Can Be http://www.TheMetamorphosisCafe.com Debra Wier is committed to self growth and personal development. As such, it is her goal to inspire others to develop their potential. She also believes that one of the contributing factors to happiness is the ability to earn a living doing something you enjoy. This belief led her to research the possibilities of making money online and she is the author of the popular 40-page ebook: How To Flood Your Bank Account With Multiple Streams Of Internet Income. Head over to http://www.TheMetamorphosisCafe.com and get your FREE copy now! Henry David Thoreau said, The world is but a canvas to the imagination. Debra Wier says, Imagination is the spark that ignites your creative fire. It can turn paupers into millionaires and make the impossible possible.You’re the maestro. Create and orchestrate the symphony of your life!

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Debra_Wier

By Debra Wier

Have you ever wanted to go back to the simple life and live more rural? Unless you are prepared for the challenges and develop a quick-witted ingenuity to capitalize on there sources around you, think twice before you chuck the urban lifestyle. There are many unexpected things that have a tendency to pop up suddenly when living the country-style life year round. The other seasons have their own demands but winter will usually trump them all. Are you ready?

The first big question to ask yourself is are you ready for the unpredictable trials that will arise out of nowhere to sabotage your efforts? Are you prepared to give up reliable town or city plumbing to learn how to make use of a well, on a piece of land, where the pipes to your home that might freeze during a cold spell? Or a sewer that looks like a pond somewhere ‘out there’ that you will need to pump out yourself once a year, using a contraption that goes by the dubious name ‘honey wagon’. What do you do when you lose the water prime on your pump anyway? Realizing of course that you’re indoor plumping, the toilet plus all your running water and laundry is directly connected and reliant on this reservoir, how do you flush when the water is frozen? Have you insulated the pumphouse and put a little heater that runs on a timer on a piece of land for the really cold nights, to keep it warm in there?

I can answer these questions and more, having had the sheer joy of first hand experience! In a previous article on winterizing a trailer, I gave some advice based on my ever-growing intimacy with this way of living. Now I have more to offer the brave souls who are considering abandoning the urban jungle for the tranquil rural outdoors. First thing to know, don’t expect tranquil! It’s anything but tranquil! Though I can only give advice on trailer living, which is, for obvious reasons, quite different than moving into a house; I can give some ‘what to do’ situations for those who have a mobile on a piece of land, whether it be in the middle of no-mans land out of town or just on the edge of town. Here goes and I will start at the beginning of this list to make it easier to follow.

Whether you have a newer double or singlewide or a very used one there is a list of items to check which have to do with staying warm and cool. So, you are standing in front of the trailer you have purchased, here is where you start especially if its used. Begin by making a cursorily examination of the exterior walls for damaged areas, go up top and check to see what kind of roof you actually have and any areas are in need of repair. Also check to see that there are no soft spots and make sure you have all the proper pipes coming out for venting, there should be four of them. You need one that is quite high and reinforced for a wood stove because of the amount of heat that is lost through the stack, one for the furnace (be it propane or gas), one for the hot water heater and the last one rotates for air circulation in the attic. Ascertain what depth of insulation you have and what R-value it provides in terms of heat retention: the higher the rating, the warmer you will be inside. Check the siding to make sure it is firmly nailed onto the walls and there are no holes where the wind or insects can penetrate, as they will make a home there. Do you have all the wires you need for electrical hook ups and don’t be afraid to do some crawling under the trailer to see where the pipes are for sewer and water. You will have to build a skirting all around the circumference to keep the pipes from freezing and this is a good time to put heat tape on the pipes before closing it up. All that is left after that is to pile dirt against the skirting to keep small animals out.

When you enter the abode that will become you new home here is what to look for; starting with the floor, check for damage but more importantly slowly walk along the wall and ‘feel’ the floor for any slopping especially if its towards the wall. Try the front and back doors to make sure they open all the way without getting caught on the floor. If there is a slope that makes furniture ‘lean’ against the walls of the trailer, you will need to add support under the trailer for the walls. To do this, use the lift you use for your vehicle and raise the sides of the trailer and put supports under these areas. Most of the time you only need to lift it a couple of inches. Keeping in mind that the walls are only three inches thick, inspect them for any water damage from the windows and roof then examine the ceiling as well. If dark brown sections are in evidence, get on a chair, take a hammer and whack the ceiling down! Remove the plastic vapor barrier and the insulation and toss it; after we did this I vacuumed the remaining bits of insulation off the ceiling boards. When the ceiling dried out completely, it was fine. Doing this also removes any insect nests that are currently residing in the ceiling and/or walls so in spring and summer, they won’t be crawling out like they did in mine. Not to bore you but that was a most unpleasant experience that involved large quantities of tape, plastic and bug spray! Trust me, you do not want to go there.

Choose a wood stove that is EPA approved and follow the instructions for installing it after you have built a platform for it to sit on with a wood frame, concrete and top it with good quality ceramic tiles; use the correct pipes for all the connections as well. Once installed and fired for the first time, open all the windows because it will smell! This is normal as you are burning off the chemical coating and preparing it for regular use. I rather quickly found that cleaning the firebox out on a regular basis reduced the inevitable build-up and gave much more heat from the wood burnt. It seems that too much ash reduces the amount of heat while creating even more ash. Then I use a small brush to clean the inside of the stove and vacuumed the surrounding platform, along with every other surface that is close to the stove; the ash gets everywhere! Of course cleaning and maintaining the stove is dependent on how cold it is outside and how much wood you have to burn. I also use the top of the stove to heat water for dishes to reduce the amount of propane usage and when need arises, to melt snow when we have no running water due to inevitable freezing despite the heat tape.

These are only a few of the wonders to behold as you prepare for life on the outskirts of civilization but it’s comforting to know that the town is only twelve miles distant. It does get better with every new experience you triumph over; we have had our fixer-upper mobile home for a year now and have worked out quite a few bugs (literally speaking) having come through the four seasons and all they had to throw at us. I think this is valuable information to share with my readers.